Forgetting

Forgetting you was very easy.

I sat down one day and drank.

I did the same the second day,

And the third and the fourth.

Time passed I do not know,

And maybe I forgot you.

But I drank much then.

And from the past few days,

I have been remembering you,

And this wine just doesn’t feel the same.

I am soaked in the memories of old days,

Yours, mine and maybe theirs too.

But I do not know how to find you again,

Because the last time we met it was crazy.

I shouted and hurled abuses at you.

I knew many big words then and used all of them.

Now I run dry, and clueless about these overwhelming feels.

Should I pray to anyone to help me now?

I remember now the meaning of your words.

I want to tell you but you are nowhere.

And it pains, a great deal.

I wish for it to tone down,

Wither and die maybe.

Because sleep has run away from the nights,

And i do nothing but remember you.

Tried the pills, yoga and meditation too.

Everything useless but the pills were tasty.

I realise the point of no return very well.

You belong there, and the helplessness kills me.

But I am awake tonight and I feel alive,

Free to do anything.

But there is nothing to be done.

So Goodbye, and you should have taken everything with yourself.

I know it is getting tiring and repetitive,

But i still search you in things.

You never knew anything about staying quiet.

And humming loudly you still echo here,

Go on and on and till the breathes continue.

I am coming,but don’t wait.

The pictures of me

The pictures of me
Which you have in mind
They are wrong
Completely irrelevant

It’s not that i care
What you think of me
Or that i want to be
Admired by the likes of you
Although your company, maybe

Justification for things i did
I’d give you none
I did nothing wrong
Then you’d say
If you did nothing wrong
Then why are trying so hard to prove it to me
The thing is
Thoughts of me getting wrongly judged by people
They bear burden of this soul of mine
They make me desperate and a wannabe
Then i try to act like i want myself to be
What people should think of me
Kind, helpful, always forgiving and whatnot
And over time
It suffocates my existence.

You’d wonderr
How much power i give other over me
None, i’d say
It’s a game
A battle
Me vs. Me
The one who is always right
The another one who is always wrong
But right or wrong
It sounds same inside my head
And it confuses me