I listen to songs. Romantic, sad, songs which have heartbreak and unfaithful lover in themes. Nothing works, for I feel nothing after listening to them. They just do not seem to affect me at all. Hardly a surprise, given I have never dabbled in matters of love and heartbreaks. All I know about it, is from movies and music videos. My friends in school told me things. But those seem more like juvenile fantasies now.
Two more days. Still no reply. I have given up hopes of receiving a message from her. I do not blame her. There is much more important things in life than replying to one’s hi message on Internet. I hope it comes true for me also.
It is a moonless night. I think about love, its scarcity in life. Nothing comes up in mind. Why do I even think about this subject? I have no answer.
It might have to do with my loneliness. But what is loneliness in its truest sense? I have people to talk to. I talk to them. Is loneliness something people face in the night when they are left to themselves? If yes, then I have been having too much of it. It is, the silence of night is apt for a deep sleep. But for the sleepless folks, it is the music of worries, regrets and issues pervading them.
It is unknown to me if I talk sense. Or what I think is right by other people. It is an unusual thing for a silent person to want someone dear to talk about things.
It is night, and I wonder if I am too woke to make sense.
I do not remember any of my dreams. I also wonder if I have an inability to visualise a dream in the first place. I remember things which happened, sometimes people and places, memories but not dreams.
Are dreams infinite, in sense that they are beyond the limits of reality?
If yes, then I wonder if I can dream about someone to talk to and possibly heartbreaks too.
Sleep does not come. I want to have a dream, right now.
I am the popular lad. I am the obedient son. I excel in sports and studies. People love me. No one envies me. Girls are madly in love with me. Teachers view me as someone who would make them proud one day in future.
I do not fear anyone or anything. My pictures on Instagram and Facebook receive thousand of likes and shares. People praise me in comments. Whatever written in my captions and wall is regarded as absolute philosophy of the highest order.
I have a girlfriend. She loves me and I love her. I go on long drives with her. She tells me about her deepest desires and secrets she never revealed to anyone.
Success is the only thing which happens whenever I try a new thing. Be it music, musical instruments, writing or even filmmaking. I am brilliant at whatever I do and people and my parents love me for it.
I am a good person. I never did harm anyone. I donate blood and I am an organ donor. I do social work and I teach kids in my free time. Kids love me and they call me ‘Bade Bhaiya.’
I am on good terms with my friends, be old or new ones. Relatives are fond of me. They pray for my wellbeing.
Life is good. And I am the human equivalent of the philosopher’s stone. Everything I touch becomes good.
I have managed to make Earth a better place by bringing real peace. People treat each other with respect now. I have treated AIDS and Cancer and global warming and hate.
The weather is good now. Pollution is non-existent along with nuclear weapons. The world does not have any problem, for it is basically a big family now. Vasudheva Kutumbakam.
A dream like this, is far-fetched even for the most imaginative person. I seek sleep, a place away from this nonsense.