Forgetting

Forgetting you was very easy.

I sat down one day and drank.

I did the same the second day,

And the third and the fourth.

Time passed I do not know,

And maybe I forgot you.

But I drank much then.

And from the past few days,

I have been remembering you,

And this wine just doesn’t feel the same.

I am soaked in the memories of old days,

Yours, mine and maybe theirs too.

But I do not know how to find you again,

Because the last time we met it was crazy.

I shouted and hurled abuses at you.

I knew many big words then and used all of them.

Now I run dry, and clueless about these overwhelming feels.

Should I pray to anyone to help me now?

I remember now the meaning of your words.

I want to tell you but you are nowhere.

And it pains, a great deal.

I wish for it to tone down,

Wither and die maybe.

Because sleep has run away from the nights,

And i do nothing but remember you.

Tried the pills, yoga and meditation too.

Everything useless but the pills were tasty.

I realise the point of no return very well.

You belong there, and the helplessness kills me.

But I am awake tonight and I feel alive,

Free to do anything.

But there is nothing to be done.

So Goodbye, and you should have taken everything with yourself.

I know it is getting tiring and repetitive,

But i still search you in things.

You never knew anything about staying quiet.

And humming loudly you still echo here,

Go on and on and till the breathes continue.

I am coming,but don’t wait.

Advertisements

times for angels and devils

times seem harder now,
for the angels and devils,
are alike. No difference.
each one wants to save you,
though their means separate them.
now angels are supposed to be the good guys.
are they? because they demand the complete you,
in turn for saving you.
They save you by letting you serve them.
And devil, the bad guy, he does not,
want to save you.
he just want to serve his purpose.
destruction. stupidity everywhere.
and you gotta clap because devil,
may save you. because,
you would not even know when he was done with you.

whatever you make of them,
keep their meaning away from the holy books of religions.
the suffering is not cured, neither helped,
by the multiple religions and their gods.
they imprison great thoughts and dumb them down.
for their use.
the holy books of this world is the same as the world.
a mirage.
one misunderstood thing.

go on and meet the devil.
or if you like the kindness,
may angels fly with you.
i will be with the world;
real and stupid.

Floating above the crowd has lead me to things.

I picked up their talks and things and learnt that,

It does not matter what the occasion is,

I will always find ways to make it about me.

I am fascinated with myself.

But, It is you I want to be fascinated with.

I want to talk to you, and maybe play these songs.

Yearning with each day and its hours and minutes is useless.

I know it well.

But, I do not want to strip away these notions to their barebones when it does not work.

Mind’s crazy antiques want to treat you like a treasure and put you up on a pedestal.

It is a stupid thing to think and do.

Irksome, they are.

I can only hope if there is some plan to this limited world of ours,

Then it works out for both of us.

खामखा फरियादी बने है

हम पूछ बैठे कि दुःख काहे इतना सारा है,

किधर शुरू और कहाँ ये खत्म हो,

हमने तनिक इतना पूछा।

आप उत्तर दे ना पाओ,

या आपका उतर हमे पसन्द ना आये,

बस स्मरण रहे कि हम केवल फिल्मी बातें ना दोहराए है।

कुछ बीस बरस की जिन्दगानी जिसमे,

पंद्रह या सौलह मुफ़्तख़ोरी के है,

अब जब हम यहां तक ऐसे आये,

तो क्यों आज हम निकम्मे और नालायक कहलाए।

बड़ी इमारतें, गाड़ी और इनमें बसते बड़े लोग,

क्यों ना हमें भी अपने बीच स्थान दिलवाओ।

मानते है औकात कम है और,

फकीरी का रुतबा पहले जैसा ना है,

परन्तु इंसानियत अभी भी जिंदा होनी तो चाहिए ही।

कामचोरी की दिक्कत ना है हमें,

भरपूर किस्म के दंश झेले फिरते है हम,

पर पुश्तैनी नाम हमारा इतना मजबूत ना हुआ,

कि हम उसको जोड़कर अपना दुःख बाजारू करें।

मेरे सरकारी माईबाप,

बस कदम चूमेंगे या पैर दबाएंगे,

तुम कहो तो तुम्हारे बोले को गीतापाठ समझ बोल जाएंगे,

तुम कहो तो हम पानी समझ तेजाब पी जाएंगे,

केवल सरकारी नौकरी दे देना।

दरअसल मुद्दा यह है कि तंगी केवल रुपयों की ही ना है,

पर रिश्तेदारों और अजीज जानकारों के बीच इज्जत की भी है।

सब कामचोर समझते है।

तुम्हारी कृपा होगी तो इज्जत भतेरी होगी।

दुःख झेलना हमारा रोज का कार्य है,

कहो कि आदत हुई है अब यह,

बस ये इज्जत का मामला रुलाता है।

दुःख रोज मिले पर रिश्तेदार साल में एक बार,

तो उनकी हँसी हमें तीखा कुरेदती है।

अंत करे तो अब किस्मत को कहते है,

कि क्यों हमसे रूठी हुई हो।

क्यों हमारे मन मुताबिक ना बनती है।

कहो तो मनाने के लिए व्रत करे या उपवास।

बल्कि यह बात तो हम संसार से कहेंगे,

कि क्या उपाय करें कि तुम अपनी विशालता का एक हिस्सा या एक कोना,

हमारे साथ बाँटो।

हम जुगाड़ी बंधु है सारे।

कमी पड़ने पर सब मिलजुल हिसाब बैठा लेते है।

तुम्हारा कोना अगर हमारे पैरो को छोटा भी पड़े,

तो घुटनो के बल भी हम किसी तरह,

उसमे चले जायेंगे और खुश रहेंगे।

उस पल का एक कष्टदायक सुख,

हमारे वर्तमान की तुलना में बेहतर ही होगा।

तो अब बताओ कि कब यह सब हो रहा है,

हुक्म करो तो पंडित से मुहूर्त निकलवाए,

कोई कमी पड़े तो फौरन बताओ,

हम अभी जुगाड़ बैठाए।

हम अभी जुगाड़ बैठाए।

बस इन दुःखो का टिकाऊ इलाज कर दो,

फिर हम भी चैन-सुख से सो जाएं।

A Lone Feel

Loneliness can do so many things to a man.

I do not know them otherwise I’d write them down.

But I do know the feel when there was no one around.

No one to talk with or ask for help.

No one and nothing to feel this void with.

No one to share things with, like this new song I found today.

And today when I sought someone from crowd to call my name like it mattered to him or her.

Absolutely no one when there was so much of free time and the absurdity of its,

Vastness, kicked me to the solid ground.

And it was only when I hit the ground I came to know it was solid.

There have been times I wanted to ask for help.

But something stops ticking, stops my voice as I speak.

Keep your baggage to yourself and carry it.

Alone.

Everyone is. And they do not ask you for any help.

I’ve thought if I stop speaking,

Then, maybe only then,

I will learn how to go through life and things and not let any feel dwindle myself.

I pray and I hope for its meaning to add to life.