One’s demons are his own.
They are balloony jokes to others.
People poke, prod and laugh at them.
One’s demons are his own.
They are balloony jokes to others.
People poke, prod and laugh at them.
Another day begins and I am done,
With waking up and renewing myself.
The effort alone is not enough,
Unless the bird cries the hardest and,
It shakes the cage.
Ask me what I can do and I will say,
I will be happy for others and depressed for myself.
These different phases do not call for help,
But these apologies stay here and do not fly,
Where they should go.
They should soothe the ones I wounded.
I keep them to myself, this inability,
What are the chances of going back now.
I ask now, you and everyone,
I am not good at this thing where,
Feeling warm and sorry should be extended.
I am cold and I am swallowing many things,
To let these words pass without any hiccups.
I am sorry for things done and words said,
And I ain’t doing this to keep my days easy.
I am me, and will continue to be.
But I want you to forget your wounds and,
And just go on with the days.
You are real and good.
I checked out my notifications today. I have fifty followers now. I thank each one of you, for tolerating the nonsense I post often. Also thanks to people who comment and reply to my comments, for it is just good to know.
Two years ago, I made this blog. Then, it was just a place where I would come and complain. It was my escape from real world.
Blogs felt awkward at first. There were blogs which had multitude of followers, posts, comments and likes. I’d like that for myself, I thought then. Who wouldn’t? A constant stream of praise and good things. Everyone would’ve wanted it if they could have it. And there were people who had it. How? What did they do? I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. Maybe it was posts which people found resonating with their inner desires and thoughts. Or people actually like to connect with each other over similar likes. I don’t know. For me, it is things I like and gratitude. Gratitude for people who took time to type each word and helped me have a good time.
I AM A GODDAMN WRITER
I so want to call myself a writer and a poet. I am not. Mind knows a million things I’d like to be. It’s like I want to be everything, without doing anything.
I respect writers and poets. I hold them in high esteem. I’m led to believe, that all people deep down are alike. Confused and dazed in chaos of emotions. Unsure about things they want and their needs. And we do a nice job pretending we are normal. It’s like we hide ourselves from each other. Perhaps our minds make us do it. All of this happens everytime. So when I see one human who has got his/her emotions clear and can talk about them in detail with fellow people. One who can make people realise that it is perfectly fine to be afraid of life and unknown. I believe these people are good human beings.
I must end this post now.
If you’re still reading this, then I’d like you to know that I am thankful to you for time you spent reading this nonsense.
I don’t like selfies. Not for the simple fact that my selfies never turn out good. Also not because I want to be different from the herd by having a different viewpoint.
I visit a place. Be it a Cinema Hall, a Public place or anything which attracts people. There, I see people, with their hand holding phone stretched out, and they look at it. They make sure that apart from their face, the background is also nice. They do all this while forgetting the place where they’re present in the moment. I have this notion, that people should experience things. They should experience its essence. And when it’s done, then click pictures. Sure a picture is worth thousand words, but people dear to you whom you show your selfies, maybe they like the sound of your voice too.
So, I don’t like selfies because most of the time they distract people from real experience. This is a valid reason, along with the two stated above.
Dhinchak Pooja and Selfie Usne Li Thi Us Din
In today’s fast world, I am an alert citizen. I keep myself updated with all the latest happenings and trends. And this is how I tell a day spent looking at memes.
A few days back, I was going through new youtube videos. A good part of my youtube feed was filled with dhinchak Pooja. She had uploaded a new song, ‘selfie maine le li aaj.’ And there were videos mocking her. I saw ’em and had some laughs. I also the original song. And later, in summation, I had these following thoughts.
1. Internet is an uncertain place. It has no pre-defined rules about liking or disliking a new thing.
2. People should respect each other’s opinion or work, even when they don’t like it.
3. This song is the worst piece of music I have heard. And people are right in mocking, roasting and bashing it.
Thoughts run wild like a group of cattle
Holidays are days when one can afford to waste time to his/her heart’s desire.
I think too much than I ought to think. And most of my thoughts are weird and stupid. I thought about this ‘selfie’ song. And i had several thoughts. Below are some of them.
1. There is a prevailing notion among people, that India is getting intolerant. They fear that their freedom of speech and expression is muffled. Maybe they think that a mob of people, who doesn’t agree with their opinion, will thrash them.
This song proves them wrong. The people of India are tolerating this song. There is no unrest among people due to this song. Sure, there are videos online mocking her. But the point is, she is free to release her song and people are free to criticise it. Freedom of speech and expression is still here. There are no angry people on road due to this song.
2. For sometime, chinese companies like Oppo, Vivo, Gionee, Huawei and Xiaomi, has been heading our mobile phone market. Thanks to their ads focused on selfies and their splurging, they have done it successfully. It has been bad for swadeshi phone companies like Micromax and karbonn. People never liked Micromax. And now they’ve conveniently forgotten about it.
Dhinchak Pooja is a hardcore nationalist. She was deeply saddened to see our swadeshi phone companies fail. Vivo, Xiaomi and other chinese companies are successful because they emphasise heavily on how great their selfie camera is. Now, thanks to her selfie song, people will stop taking selfies. So they won’t buy chinese phones which excel in capturing selfies. It will drive down the sales of chinese companies, and thus, our swadeshi mobile companies will emerge again.
I sit by the wall
And look up
These sounds speak
They speak to each other
And tell things
One says that the girl
Whom you rejected
Other says that the girl
Isn’t even aware
Of your existence
One says that you will
For this sin
Other says that you’re
Ugly and no woman
Ever spoke to you
One says people see through you
And they know you’re fake
Other says you are always mistaken for who you are
One says that your behaviour
Is weird and it puts people off
Other says that you are too bland
And people don’t like you around
I think they belong to someone
Who look like me
But isn’t me
But how can this be
I don’t know
All that I know is
I’m going crazy
The clock tells it’s 12 A.M. Midnight. Or new day. I don’t care. Silence is here. I like silence.
I was sleeping. Something woke me up. I saw around. No one was present. I tried sleeping again. It didn’t come. Tried everything. Drank water, took a short walk, listened to music, read something; sleep eluded me. And now I feel mad. All day I have to slog through to forget this wasteland and now when I was just about to do it, something woke me up.
Bad dreams. There ain’t a thing like that for me. No dream is as scary as life. And people are stupid. They talk continuously. They talk about how they find relationships and dealing with other people difficult. People are stupid. I couldn’t say it straight to their face. They’d punch me. They talk much and listen little. Everyone does so. This is the problem. No one wants to listen and everyone talks. What a circus.
Memories. I remember them. Little piece of situation stuck in head. It comes at odd times. Makes me useless. It slows me down. Too much for remembering. Now people say memories are good and bad. Keep the good ones and forget the bad ones. I said earlier that people are stupid. They really are. Memories are just time wasted doing something and time wasted again later remembering it. I reek with cynicism.
Love is fake. Or people are. Anyways, both are fake. Belittling self everytime. Telling self they aren’t good enough for someone. Crying over things. Showing affection. Later bitterness. Waiting for the perfect one to arrive. Listening to these romantic songs. Having expectations which are always unmet. Feeling low continuously because an idiot did or said something hurtful. Then picking yourself up. Loving one. Hating him/her later. Late night chats faking intimacy. Always smiling to hide insecurity. Falling in love and then falling out. Feeling low, depressed, dejected. Then the journey of picking up pieces begin. And the worst thing. This shitshow never ends. Everytime you have your head up, there is some stupid trying to mess with it. For all love is, a con job of mind. Heart pumps blood. Mind is messy.
The paperboy comes in the morning
He throws a newspaper at wall
His aim is always perfect
I pick it up and see it
The paper is wrinkle free and crisp
The faces on it are laughing
The text is pitch black and small
The girl with the mobile phone is attractive
I like the way she smiles, Always
I keep the paper somewhere
I will come back to it
When i have time
I read the small black text
It is always people saying something
Something about promises
Something about killing someone
Something about money and sports
Something about the little world i live in
The black text
It eats my time
It unsettles me
It is not good
It’s just people doing things to people
How is it news
Some human who got killed
How is it gonna make my day
Why do i need this info
I can’t understand it, always
But then I put it away
Terrible things go away
My life sees me again
And always, the girl is smiling