I have just woken up from a deep slumber. Something shook me. It is like, there is a burden on my conscience I can’t get rid of easily. Writing, maybe, will help me here.
Today was a simple day. I woke up, got dressed and reach College. The traffic was less than usual. The roads were less occupied.
I reached College and started going after teachers for signatures. I needed them for my important work. I agree being a little selfish asking them for it. Two months have happened since I took their lectures.
While I was there, a friend asked me for help. The help was making lists. College was hosting an Inter-College debate competition. And as soon as I knew it, I was writing down names of students who were in it.
I have always loved competitions. I love helping people. And I love receiving appreciation for it. The funny thing is, no one appreciated me or anything. No one. Nada. For everyone I met today, save for one person, everyone took me for granted. I felt the amount of work done in organising an event. I felt what those people go through. People come and go. All without taking a second to thank a nameless and faceless person who arranged their seat or offered them water.
The online and offline dilemma
I wrote down names. Names of students from neighbouring college and my College. And there were names I remembered. I remembered them because they were interesting people. People whom I wanted to talk with. Now it’s a different matter all of them were girls.
I am here to generalise my fellow young fellas.
Life, in its monotone, is boring. It is people who make it worth living. And there are times when you are engrossed with a person that you want more of them. But we walk around with a shyness so great that we are simply unable to go upto them and ask for it. Now it is different if we gets turn down, but the gist is that we strived for what we wanted. Now we’ve taken shyness into picture, it is essential to include the fact that I also lack the courage to talk to a girl.
I didn’t talk to them. But I remembered their names. I reached home and searched them on facebook. And when I visited their profile, it was starkly opposite to my expectiations.
Today, there was this girl who was headstrong and confident. It was evident in the way she talked and spoke during the debate. She was beautiful too, breathtakingly beautiful. It was like she personified beauty. Hair tied in a ponytail and the occasional giggles. The eyes behind the specs. The aura she had. Truth be told, I am unable to explain how beautiful a girl is.
So when I visited her profile, there were pictures which had inspirational quotes. Inspirational quotes for a girl to remember she’s beautiful the way she is. It felt like she was doubtful about herself. There wasn’t one, but multiple of the same kind. It was aweful, seeing someone doubt their wonderful individuality. Society, what have you done.
Now let’s tackle the question that why do I stress so much on what a person has put up on their facebook.
Facebook is like a commodity for today. It is amazing too. It offers one the independence to say what he wants to say without any sort of fear of getting judged by people for it.
Now what I want to say is, social media is a platform for our thoughts. It has become a medium for us to express ourselves. So naturally, our facebook profile is an extension of our existence and what we post is things we want to say or tell people. Or rather taken as.
If thoughts above sound stupid to you, then please tell me.
A bit about stalking
Above here I have talked about looking up a girl’s facebook profile. And honestly it sounds a lot like stalking.
The thing with me is, a talk with an interesting person makes my day rather than seeing them. And real life doesn’t always align itself to my expectations. So while looking up them online, what I merely want is a glimpse of the goodness they are and what they are like.
Work be of any kind, it is the intentions with which they are done which makes them good or bad. And here, I cross my heart and (figuratively) I am ready to walk through burning pyre if it helps me in conveying that my intentions were good.
A good thing
The debate was good. The result was a mess.
Now there was this girl from Govt. College sector 14. She was enchanting and when she spoke, one was forced to pay attention. Such powerful her public speaking was.
When the debate was done and they were ready to go home, I walked up to her and said that she did good today. She thanked me. Perhaps she knew how awesome she was and was just being modest about it. Anyways, she made my day better. Count the little blessings they say. Her thank you was the best little thing today.
Now I am shy around girls and I still wonder how I talked to her. But for the moment, I am just glad that I talked.