Happy Belated Birthday Myself

So i turned 21 on the 6th of February. No one wished me or gave me any gift. I wasn’t sad though. I don’t like being sad.

It was evening. 6’o clock something. The daylight was diminishing and the wind was chilly. I was coming back from my friend’s place. In the way, there is a house of a girl who was a classmate of mine. Also, if I remember correctly, she was my first crush. So there was a huge pandal beside her house. I asked my friend about it. She was getting married.

I was not unsettled. A crush changes over time. Heart is a selfish fella.

I take a look at some of my contemporaries. People who shared some part of their life with me in the past. Classmates, former best friends, friends, girls I was in love with, girls who were my senior. The first thing that comes to mind is, puberty has changed them. Second, a lot of them are no more boys and girls. They are adults. Married adults who have responsibilities and kids. Time has changed for everyone.

Now when change comes into picture, comparison comes into picture. No I am not comparing myself with them over how much of material things I have gathered over years or how much of wealth I have accumulated. For, I have none. I am happy for them. But I am a wee bit sad that love is nowhere to be found.

Books, pop songs, romantic movies, looking at couples who go with hands in hands. All these things make me miserable, even if it’s for a second. Love, it is nowhere to be found.

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